It was a pretty normal morning, at first. Sort of. We slept in a little, which was amazing. Zachary still had a bit of a cough from his cold which he was nice enough to share with everyone. We’ve been working on sharing, but focusing on toys, silly boy. Bryson was sneezing a bit but still his [extremely] bouncy self. All was good.
Now, Zachary has reached that point in toddlerhood where he’s weird about going #2. Where it used to be very apparent that he was working to evacuate his bowels, he now quietly sits at the coffee table or hides in a corner. He does these things even when he’s not relieving himself, so it can be tricky to know what he’s doing now since he no longer includes his loud soundtrack. Even had I been sure, I’d not have thought much of it. He does his business and comes to me to get clean.
This is where the morning became different. While Zachy was hanging around the coffee table doing his thing, Bryson crawled over to hang with him. It’s awesome that Bryson can do this now, and that they’re interacting more because of it. At some point when my attention was diverted something happened – I’m still not sure what – and Zachary came to me as he normally does to be changed. I changed his diaper, and took it to the kitchen to throw it away. I blew my nose, enjoying the slight cold that was so sweetly shared. All of this took no more than 5 minutes. I’ve become a champion diaper changer and my living room to kitchen garbage walk is less than 10 steps. Bryson was in my periferial view for all of this time with the exception of my few seconds of blowing my nose. I include this because it’s actually important, as it shows how quickly things can happen. You can be paying attention, you can be right there, and things happen.
As I stepped back into the living room, Bryson was gagging a bit. There was something on his lip that I quickly determined was chocolate, so I wiped it away with a wet wipe, figuring he’d gotten his hands on an M&M (either by finding one of Zachy’s hiding places, or Zachy giving it to him). I figured the gagging was due to the hard candy shell, so I gave him a bit of water to help wash the shells out of his throat. He happily continued playing and crawling around. I took a few pictures because he’s so freaking adorable (no, I’m not biased) but didn’t look at them for a few hours.
After about an hour he started gagging again. I got up to get him, and noticed he smelled like he needed a diaper change. I told him he was stinky and was shocked to find nothing more than a barely wet diaper. Was I smelling things? He certainly smelled like… well, he smelled like crap in the most literal sense. Maybe my nose was just off? Confused, I decided to try to see the new top tooth he’s been working on getting in. Leaning in I realized the smell became stronger when he exhaled, and the flashlight of my phone revealed that his tongue was brown and…
The roof of his mouth was packed with poop. I mean, there was no pink to be seen, his mouth was brown. I grabbed wet wipes and started digging in his mouth, meeting absolutely no protest or attempt to get away from him. No, this child held his little mouth open and even stuck his tongue out for me to scrub for him. My God. This is undoubtedly the most disgusting thing I have come across as a parent, and that’s saying something. Looking back at the pictures I had taken of him earlier, the flash revealed what the dim lighting in here did not – his tongue had been brown for quite a while.
So my youngest child ate the crap of my oldest child. I still have no idea how he got his hands on it. He definitely grabbed it, because Zachary’s hands were clean and Bryson’s had that crap stank about them. He was across the room when I changed his brother’s diaper. Nothing fell out while I changed the diaper. So… at some point Zachary somehow managed to manipulate his diaper so that a bit fell out and Bryson eagerly gobbled it up? Ugh. I don’t know. I was here the whole time, watching them, and… I don’t know. It’s killing me. It’s disgusting.
After washing his mouth out, I had him drink more water. Then fed him some of that textured baby food with small flecks of granola in it. I put rice in his bottle. I did everything I could to clean his mouth of anything I could have possibly missed with my own cleaning. He’s absolutely fine, and luckily will only remember it because he’s never going to hear the end of it when he’s older rather than actually remembering the taste of his brother’s crap.