A c-section is nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s definitely not something to be wanted either. Recovery is not only longer, but arguably harder as well. I had to prop myself up with every spare pillow we had because I couldn’t sleep flat, and man do I like to be able to lay in bed to sleep instead of sitting up! After having a c-section with Zachary, I really wanted to be able to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with Bryson. My doctor was on board with the idea even though the births would be 11 months apart, saying that if at 39 weeks I had dilated any he would induce me.
March 2nd brought my admittance to the hospital, preceded by my last appointment at the clinic. Thank goodness we were scheduled to go in, because I had an undetected leak of fluid, with levels under 1. At first I thought that my water had possibly broken since it isn’t always the dramatic gush of water seen in the movies, after all. I was having mild contractions, but in reality I had a slow leak and no dilation. I was put on fluids and bed rest for the night, only being allowed out of bed to go to the bathroom, which didn’t happen often despite the iv.
I spent the night listening to the combination of his heartbeat and Cy’s snoring, thinking about how dangerous my fluid being so low had been for Bryson and what could have happened had we not found out. How long had it been that low? I stared at the nightlight, listening to the beautiful sound of his heart, and was so thankful that I was where I was.
My c-section was the first in the morning, as my fluid being so low made me a priority. It was more nerve-wracking the second time around because I knew it was coming, where it was a surprise the first time. It was also more upsetting because I’d had a night full of what-if’s, and my first night away from Zachary. Getting ready for the c-section was surreal and at this point I remember very little aside from disliking my anesthesiologist. The surgery itself went much more quickly than the first, but was much more painful and left me wishing my spinal had been higher. During the procedure my doctor jumped up from his seat, ran to a table to grab something, and then I felt so much pressure that I found it hard to breathe. He had to use the vacuum to get Bryson out, during a c-section.
I remember hearing him cry and seeing him being dangled around the curtain. They rushed him from the room with Cy on their heels. He didn’t get to cut the chord this time around. My doctor had a hard time stopping my bleeding, but there still wasn’t the same kind of blood loss as the first time around. I didn’t have to stay in recovery as long, though I was thankful that the nurses took pictures of Bryson for me so I didn’t have to wait as long to see him.
My mother-in-law was there with Zachary when I got out of surgery. It killed me not being able to hold him (and continued to). They brought Bryson in – that’s such an amazing moment, when they’re wheeling the baby in and you’re anxiously awaiting the tiny body being put into your arms. Then there he was, his warm little body and grumpy little face with his new baby smell and tiny little grunts. It was instant love.